Tuesday, December 25, 2007

I Don't See the Christmas Light

Though I don't see the Christmas light,
Though there's no loved one in sight,
Though it feels like a lonely night,
Yet I know that God is nigh.

- Bee

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Friday, December 14, 2007

Where Is Christmas

I don't feel much of the Christmas spirit this year. Perhaps it's b'cos of my busyness at work the stress I am suffering form and also.....

Well, Christmas is not Christmas when Jesus is not around. So Christmas is in my heart all year round.

Anyway, I will be going for mission trip tomorrow and will be back on Sun. This is one way for me to be away from work and spend more time in the things of God and be human again. I will be there to celebrate Christmas with the villagers. Cheers!

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Saturday, December 08, 2007

A Disturbing Week

I have been very stressed by my work recently. I have to do a number of negotiations between my bosses and our business partner on certain major project. Too many of them with so much uncertainty as a result of my bosses indecisiveness drove me crazy. I didn't have enough sleep.... dark eye circles are appearing. I was driven to tear at one point when I felt that my bosses were not being fair.

Actually, I wanted to resign a few times some time back in Oct but held back as I didn't have the heart to leave this organization in the lurch. Last night, the same feeling came back. What kept me going was that if the deal didn't fall through it is God has allowed it and I don't have to think too much about it. What will be will be.....

In addition, what someone did recently made me feel very sad and hurt. I just wondered how a person could be so insensitive and mean, especially from someone whom I have cared for before. I felt very angry and felt the urge to show others what kind of person he is. I know I have to leave vengeance to God and not take things int my own hands, yet I still felt the unrest in my heart and it almost turned into hatred.... I didn't feel such strong feeling before.

However, in my Bible reading today (belated one), I came across Proverbs 10:12:

"Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs."

This verse came to me on time (though it was behind my reading schedule). Well God's timing is always perfect, though ours aren't. This verse reminded me that I should let love reigns in my heart and not take revenge. I should give life to someone instead of bringing death by my actions even if I have been hurt. I need God's help to keep my peace, keep my cool, and don't react. I need to let God's love covers the wrongs that were done to me.

Help me, Lord!

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Saturday, December 01, 2007

Falling In Love

Ah... I am falling in love! Good or bad?

Erm... I think it's bad, 'cos I have fallen in love with my work. I enjoy my work too much that I don't even have much time left for my sleep.

Isn't this the same as when we fall in love with another human being? Yes, indeed, except that works don't hurt us, whereas humans do.

Shouldn't we be passionate about our work? So ironical isn't it?

Perhaps it has to do with my character. I tend to be very engrossed and passionate about the things, or tasks, or people that are under my care. *sigh*

Yet I must learn to love my work less or it will rob me of my time for God and myself, which is very bad. I mustn't make work the idol of my life.

Posting this post is my deliberate effort to break away from my work. :)

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