Saturday, March 01, 2008

Who Am I?

Am I a human or a robot?
Am I programmed to think or feel in certain way?
Is there a place for me on earth?

I am so different from others that I don't feel belong here.
Who am I? Can someone tell me?



Blogger Richard said...

Hey! I thought I was the one asking the existential questions.

Three years ago, just a few weeks from now, I wondered the same thing. Why am I different and do I have any choice in it? Everyone around me seems to behave and act with a commonality that I do not share.

Of course, this was not always the way I thought. For most of my life, the question of free will was an absolute for me and Sartre captured it best with, "We are condemned to be free."

When I was younger, startign in my pre-teens, I read books on adolescent psychology (among other books). I was curious about what was coming up for me. My impression of what I read was that most of it was total nonsense, the personal imaginings of some so-called expert on what normal behaviour was. When some friends starting acting in manners described in the books, I just thought they were being silly, simply aping behaviours they had read about because an expert had said this was normal. It wasn't until the past few years that I realized that my peers and friends probably did not read the same books I did. That perhaps, just perhaps, their behaviour was normal and in keeping with their development and it was I who was aberrant.

Over the past few years, I have grown stronger again. I am more confident in myself. If someone asks me who I am I can reply, "I am me". It is something I was not able to do at the time I first met you.

Sometimes, it seems to me that there are two sorts of humans on this planet: souled and unsouled. The unsouled ones are perfect in everyway, except that they do not act as children of the Light. Of course, I don't believe that. I believe we are all children of the Divine, but some (most?) seem content to turn away from Him.

The other thing to ask is if the "normals" are actually happier? It does not seem to be so to me. It is true that they pursue and abandon themselve to the temptations of the world with an ease that I cannot understand. Yet, I don't think they are happier.

I don't think you are an automaton. Your friendship, though virtual, has encouraged me, strengthened me, amused me, and made me feel less alone over the past 2-1/2 years.

You are you and you always will be.

04 March, 2008 00:49  
Blogger David said...

U r juz as unique as Singapore. :)

09 March, 2008 00:38  
Blogger buzybee said...

Hi Richard,

Thanks for your loong sharing of thoughts. :)

Glad to know that I have that impact on you (unknowingly). But I am so inactive online these days due to work. *sigh* I will still try to 'smell the flowers' whenever I can, like today in my above post. :)

Thanks for your friendship too, for always visiting my blog and commenting my posts. Yes, for making this blog/me less lonely. :D

Hi David,
Glad t still see you around at my blog. Right, we are all very unique in our own ways. :)

17 March, 2008 01:17  

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