Saturday, December 08, 2007

A Disturbing Week

I have been very stressed by my work recently. I have to do a number of negotiations between my bosses and our business partner on certain major project. Too many of them with so much uncertainty as a result of my bosses indecisiveness drove me crazy. I didn't have enough sleep.... dark eye circles are appearing. I was driven to tear at one point when I felt that my bosses were not being fair.

Actually, I wanted to resign a few times some time back in Oct but held back as I didn't have the heart to leave this organization in the lurch. Last night, the same feeling came back. What kept me going was that if the deal didn't fall through it is God has allowed it and I don't have to think too much about it. What will be will be.....

In addition, what someone did recently made me feel very sad and hurt. I just wondered how a person could be so insensitive and mean, especially from someone whom I have cared for before. I felt very angry and felt the urge to show others what kind of person he is. I know I have to leave vengeance to God and not take things int my own hands, yet I still felt the unrest in my heart and it almost turned into hatred.... I didn't feel such strong feeling before.

However, in my Bible reading today (belated one), I came across Proverbs 10:12:

"Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs."

This verse came to me on time (though it was behind my reading schedule). Well God's timing is always perfect, though ours aren't. This verse reminded me that I should let love reigns in my heart and not take revenge. I should give life to someone instead of bringing death by my actions even if I have been hurt. I need God's help to keep my peace, keep my cool, and don't react. I need to let God's love covers the wrongs that were done to me.

Help me, Lord!

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Blogger Richard said...

Does not sound like an amused Bee to mee.

I am sorry to hear someone hurt you. The advice I try to take to heart is, "There is no offense where none is taken." (oddly enough, this comes from Star Trek's Journey to Babel and not the Stoics I am so fond of quoting).

Jutice builds up. It does not destroy. I wrote about it here.

I will add my prayers to yours so that you may find peace and hope in your current circumstance.

10 December, 2007 11:03  
Blogger buzybee said...

Thanks for your encouragement and prayer. God will hear it. :)

14 December, 2007 21:35  

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