Grieving Our Losses
Grieving Our Losses (from Today's Daily Encounter)"Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted."
(Matthew 5:4)
When Jesus' friend, Lazarus, died, Jesus wept. When we experience loss and are sad, we need to do the same. When we bury and hide our grief, we hurt ourselves and distort reality. As Cecil Osborne wisely said, "Every unshed tear is a prism through which all of life's hurts are distorted."
In his book, Daily Affirmations for Forgiving and Moving On, Tim Dayton wrote, "If my unconscious carries a silent wound, I will always be black and blue inside. I will not be able to approach situations with open eyes for fear they will trigger that unfelt pain. The grief that I carry hidden in silence has great power over my life and my relationships.... Until I understand my grief and allow myself to know it, I will not be free of its grip."
Loss is a part of life. Grieving these is a process, not an event. There is no quick fix. Whatever emotions are involved--which can include confusion, anxiety and even anger--need to be felt, experienced and expressed in healthy ways, as well as the deep sorrow which needs to be wept or even sobbed out. Tears are God's gift to help drain the pain of deep grief and sorrow.
Furthermore, until I know how to weep with all my heart, I will never know how to love with all my heart either.
Jesus gives us a model to follow. And his words are true: "Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted."
"Suggested prayer:
"Dear God, help me to be connected to and honest with all my emotions and learn to express them in healthy, constructive ways. And help me to learn to grieve and mourn my losses and not be afraid to cry when I am truly sad. Thank you for the gift of tears as well as the gift of laughter. Help me to realize that both are equally important and healthy. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer.
Grate fully in Jesus' name, amen."
My Reflection:
The above article reminded me of myself, my life. For a while, I seem to have no life? I have been very busy with work since May this year, and even more so during the last 2 months, to the extent that I have no time for myself and very little time for God too, except to read the bible before I sleep.
Perhaps that's a mask of grief. I realized that I didn't cry much over my loss, I didn't 'blame' anyone, I even faced the loss 'squarely' as if there isn't any pain.
Yes, can't grieve fully equals to can't love fully.... perhaps my heart has become somewhat stony? But it's a choice that I chose, I want it that way. At least I don't have to go through the cycle again and again, like what happened to the people I know. It's all chasing after the winds... except when we chase after God, the only Person who can love us fully.
posted by buzybee at
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
6 Comments:
Part of the problem is that "the world" often behaves and acts in a manner contrary to the Truth. We are expected to conform to the norms of "the world". We are told to pursue illusions instead of Truth. We are constantly tempted and distracted by the sights and sounds of the world around us.
We should have an untroubled heart, not a stony one. Do not mistake hardness and coldness for tranquility.
The problem is that as people become older, they become more like themselves. I always that that as people got older and more mature, they would think more and more like me. That is not the case. So part of my despondency a few years back was the acute feeling of loneliness.
Richard said: "I always that that as people got older and more mature, they would think more and more like me. That is not the case. So part of my despondency a few years back was the acute feeling of loneliness."
Hey, so you think you are the only "matured" guy around, since people don't think like you? ;)
"Loneliness" is when you feel you don't have people whom you can think aloud with. I used to feel that way in the past, but not so much now. Not because I have found that person, but 'cos there isn't anything much to think aloud these days, except my work. :D
I am occasionally accused of being arrogant. Something I deny. I think people get confused with confidence in ones position and belief with arrogance (which is thinking oneself superior to others).
For me, maturity is simply a sign of making rational decisions. It is "obvious" that intoxication is not a good thing to do, yet people continue to do it. Some people grow out of the need to intoxicate themselves, others do not.
I can agree that "loneliness" can be a symptom of not having someone to think aloud with. I know the correct response is that it should be Sofia, but, let's be honest, we are different people, with different tastes and interests. But that loneliness came about because I still did not find anyone like me. I can find common aspects, but the whole is lacking.
Don't bury your life in work.
ah... so many kinds of people in this world. To be able to find someone to think aloud with, not necessary must be gf/bf or spouse, is something to be treasured. Well, those were the days....
I am trying not to work too hard, but no choice for now... I have to work about 16 hours a day, and still can't seem to finish my work. Hopefully it will be better next month.
I will pray you get some reprieve. Sometimes hard work is necessary, but, as I get older, I find it is a result of poor management/planning and / or callous exploitation of workers. Most things in life just are not that urgent. On the other hand, living the life money can buy (even if it is not a great life) is better than living under a bridge in a cardboard box (which raises the question, do you have homeless people in Sg?)
Not that I know of of any "homeless people" in SG these days. Our govt did a good job in ensuring there is no begger here. The ones suffering are the in-between.... not too poor to be helped, yet not too rich to be independent.
"exploitation of workers" may be true, yet not in a direct way. The bosses will not tell the workers, "you need to work twice the amount of hours". He will say "I want all THESE to be completed by this month".... and you know that THESE will need 3 months to complete if you work the normal 44 hours work week in SG.
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