Can Long Distance Relationships Really Work?
What I can say is committed Long Distance Relationship (LDR) or Online Relationship (OR) is not for everyone. The couple in such relationship need special capacity, and have special quality in them for it to work. Qualities such as faith, trust, hope, peseverence, patience, creativiy, etc are very important for such a couple. That means they really love each other for who they are without the physical distractions.
It is also my belief that if it works well online/distance for a couple, it will work even better when they finally marry each other and live together for good.
The following are some interesting comments:
Can Long Distance Relationships Really Work?
Distance is not the end of the world in a relationship
Distance cannot, and will not hurt a bond between two people that is based on mutual respect, trust, commitment, and love.
Although you may feel like you are losing faith in your relationship at times, hold fast and trust your heart!
I, like you, truly believe that love & relationships are what make your life special, and that ones built on love & understanding are always worth preserving, regardless of the miles that may separate two people.
- Stephen Blake
Forum on Creative ways to make a long distance relationship work
but here is the key I believe ... we do twice a week devotions together (in addition to our personal daily devotions) ... we read Bible togteher and spend couple hours in front of God ... not seeking God to bring us together ... but simply praying and doing devotions ...
we also have decieded that we will not seek God to tell us or Him to bring us together ... we have left to up to Him ... and we both trust that if tomorrow for some reason God would tell us "give this person up to me" we both have hearts to say "Lord may your will be done" ...
- Post #: 1 - by GraceK
Most of what I will say has been said... the trust and communication. That is so true. Those really are the two most important factors. Make sure you talk everyday and know what's going on in each other's lives. In a way... I kind of think LDR's have advantages in this area. When all you can do is talk, you get *really* good at communicating. It is different when you're together. There's a lot more distractions. Enjoy this time as the time you get to spend really getting to know the person on the inside. Their thoughts and hopes and dreams.
Reading a book or doing a devotional is also a wonderful thing to do. You can each read it and then discuss it. It'll bring up a lot of topics that you might never have discussed otherwise. It's good stuff.
Someone said that watch a movie together apart idea... we actually did that before. haha. We did it a couple times. It was kinda fun. Start the movie at the same time and you get to experience it together.- Post #: 8 - starvin.artist.gurl
Tips for Long Distance Relationships
posted by buzybee at
Monday, October 03, 2005
3 Comments:
I don't believe a long distance relationship can work.
I think people are too deceptive and a long distance relationship makes it all too easy to carry on a deception.
Maybe in a perfect world, but not in this world.
I guess it will never work for u, even if u try, since u "don't believe" in it.... a kind of self-fulfilling 'prophecy'. Only those who believe in it can see it works for them.
I have seen and heard more broken marriages from "offline" relationship than from "online" or "distance" relationship that has been tested through time.
I always believe only people who have 'special' virtues can be involved in a distance relationship... for it takes a lot from them to keep the relationship growing.
Deception can be even greater "offline" because our eyes deceive us easily. That's why people "fall in love" faster when they can see, especially for men. In addition, the physical temptation tends to end a relationship faster than anything else.
Utimately, it depends on what the 2 people are looking for in their relationship.
As you say, it can work if both people are honest with each other.
It is just that my experience with people is that they are not usually what they seem (not all people, mind you).
You are correct that initiating a non-visual relationship allows people to focus more on the substance of the person rather than the appearance.
But, people often mislead, sometimes deliberately, sometimes unintentionally.
For example, people often describe themselves as "I am ..."
They may in fact be describing themselves accurately, or they may be describing what they would wish to be. e.g. "I am easy going." Maybe they are, maybe they wish they were.
Self-fullfilling prohecies? Hmmm ... as I said, I don't believe it can work - maybe I should have said, I consider it extremely difficult and highly unlikely to work - I am sure you see (and maybe have experienced) all the problems with a close relationship. As it stands now, I am not likely to have an opportunity to see if it is possible. But I think greater care needs to be exercised.
For any relationship to work it requires genuine commitment - whether it is near or far.
Take care.
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